Dear writers of Percy Jackson Fanfics
by Estherdabookworm
Summary: Letters sent by Percy Jackson characters to authors of Fanfics. P.S: Don't be too offended writers. But if you were severely offended, do tell me and I'll stab myself with a rusty banana. Sincerely, an insane Esther who doesn't know the difference between a banana and a knife
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! Please don't forget to review after reading. Oh, and feel free to point out anything to me . e.g.: characters you want in this story etc…**

**Disclaimer:**

Esther: Hey everyone! Today we have Percy Jackson himself to do the disclaimer! Drumrolls please!

Percy:*blinks* Huh?

Esther: *facepalms* Hurry!

Percy:*frowns*

Esther:*sighs* That's because you're everyone's favourite and don't make me tell Annabeth that you lost the book on architecture that she lent you yesterday.

Percy: Oh ok… The characters belong to Rick Riordan. Only the plot belongs to Esther.

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Note: **Bold**= Travis

Dear writers of Percy Jackson Fanfics,

We are delighted that we have stolen Annabeth's book. **I agree but it was my talent that got us the book.** Please ignore him, everyone knows I am better. **Are not. **Anyway we almost forgotten to tell you that we totally despise the Tratie stories you have written. **I like them, you're just jealous that no girl likes you. **Not true, please stop writing all these nonsense about Travis. **I like them, Katie is soooo gorgeous. **Ignore him please.

Sincerely, a jealous Conner and a lovestruck Travis

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Percy: Hey! So it were you monkeys who stole the book *runs after Travis and Conner*

Travis: *dreaming*Katie kiss me…

Conner:*drags Travis to the Hermes cabin* Run!

Esther: The next chapter will be posted after I help Percy get back Annabeth's book. Bye for now!

**And… Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry to all Pothena fans… and writers.( Don't worry no harm will befall you guys)**

**Disclaimer:**

Esther: Hey peeps! Today Kronos is going to do the disclaimer!

Kronos: *growls*I am not!

Esther:*sniggers* Of course you are going to do it!

Kronos:*scowls* What power do you have over me?

Esther: Plenty! I am the author! Now hurry up or I'll write something embarrassing about you.

Kronos: Stupid mortal, go to Tartarus!

Esther: *smirks* Excuse me…

Kronos: *sighs* Fine. The characters belong to Rick Riordan while the plot belongs to Esther.

Esther: Finally! Oh and if you review I'll force Kronos to tell some embarrassing stories about himself.

Kronos: *growls* No you don't *chases Esther*

Esther: *runs away*Argh! Gotta go, bye!

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Dear writers of Percy Jackson Fanfics,

How dare you insolent mortals write foolish stories about me! I would never love that foolish oaf! I cannot believe that you would dare write stories of Poseidon and I making out! One day I shall punish all twisted writers of those horrible stories with wisdom, and all readers of those pathetic stories will face the wrath of…WISDOM!

Sincerely, a very angry Athena who kills with, ummm, wisdom

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Kronos: *grabs Esther*Hahaha! Got you Esther

Esther: Lemme go! *bites Kronos on the arm*

Kronos:*yelps and lets go of Esther*

Esther:*Runs away and sticks tongue out at Kronos* Loser!

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**Review guys! Maybe I'll get Hazel to do the disclaimer for the next chapter**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey there! Thanks for the reviews and enjoy the story! **

**Disclaimer:**

Hazel:***smiles and waves*** Hey guys! Esther couldn't make it 'cause she is down with a cold.

Esther:***sneezes* **Ahchoo!

Hazel: Gosh that is one heck of a cold she's got! Anyway, I'll be doing the disclaimer today while Esther is recuperating.

Esther:***On cue***Ahchoo! Ahchoo! Ahchoo!

Kronos:***smiles wickedly*** Ha filthy demigod! Beat that!

Hazel: ***yelling***Get lost Titan!***turns and smiles sweetly at readers*** Anyways, the characters mentioned belongs Rick Riordan, the plot and cold belongs to Esther's brain juices (just kidding).

Esther:***with a noseblock*** Sjee Ayzel, fhanks aery much (Gee Hazel thanks very much)

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Note: **Bold-Annabeth**, _Italic-Nico_

Dear writers of Percy Jackson Fanfics,

You people are in need of a psychologist! It is unbearable that you people made me a gay! My one true love is Annabeth and I have totally no romantic feelings for Nico! _Ouch that hurts my achey bakey(heart)! Take that back Percy!_**Shut up Nico! He's mine! Oh Percy I love you too! **_Ignore Annabeth, you know that my heart is yours! _Actually Nico, I am dating Annabeth and I have no plans to break up anytime, a kiss anytime Wise Girl? **Awww**, **that was sweet Percy.**_That was sick Percy!*Sobs*_

Sincerely,

A romantic Percy, heart-broken Nico, and a totally in love Annabeth

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**Well that's all for now! Review! And I'll post the next chapter quickly.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone! Thanks for reading and reviewing, your reviews mean loads to me!**

**Guest: Thanks! Glad you liked the Tratie thing:)...**

* * *

**Disclaimer:**

Chiron: ***nervous***Ummm, I have no idea why I have been sent an IM asking me to do this. All I know is that every single demigod at camp is either down with a cold-**  
**

Esther: Ahchoo!

Chiron: And are busy fighting monsters or on a quest.***moans***Why me!

Esther: Jush gedd on wif it! (Just get on with it!)

Chiron: Ok dear, all characters in this story belong to Rick Riordon, the plot is Esther's…

* * *

**Note:Bold=Porkpie**

Dear writers of Percy Jackson fanfics,

Neighhhhhhhh! How come nobody have got anything awesome to say 'bout us! **I find that unfair too! I ****did**** save Boss (Percy) from bein' chopped up to confetti y'all know! **That's true and he doesn't get any credit for that.** That's right, and I nearly got sliced up too! **Don't forget me! I helped in the Titan war didn't I? And only Blackjack gets all the credit… **Yeah, what did he do? **Plenty! **Traitor.**

Sincerely, a grumpy Porkpie and a traitor, Guido who doesn't know which side to take.

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**Review… thanks for reading! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

(Hide your wallets and costly items everyone!)

* * *

**Disclaimer:**

Travis: Hi everyone.

Conner: We're gonna do the disclaimer today, _after_ I sort out this pathetic mess with Travis.***turns and faces Travis***

Travis:** *scowls* **Whats your problem Conner?

Conner: You have this tendancy to get us in knee deep trouble once you start thinking about Katie

Travis: So what? Jealous?

Conner: Excuse me! She asked her mother to turn me into a daisy for a week and didn't water me! And what did she do to you? Nothing, even though it was your idea! Now you keep dreaming about her.

Random Dude: ***steps in between Stoll brothers* **Whoa whoa... lets get this strait-

Conner: Shut your trap Random Dude! This is Stoll business. This matter will be resolved as long as there is a CON, in my name.

Travis:***sigh* **Will you shut up if I tell Drew that you said she was a nose booger that was overdressed with too much makeup and wears perfume that smells worse than your armpit?

Conner: ***gulps***I'll shut up. Oh, and all characters belong to Rick Riordan while the plot is Esther's.

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Dear writers of Percy Jackson fanfics,

I like Frazel

Leo/Frank is just plain silly

But did you have to freakin' pair me up with a pair of ! $#%*& % handcuffs!

Keep those nonsentic ideas for your f*****g self! I suggest you continue with your Frazel stories... if I find those authors of the FrankxHandcuffs stories I'll eat you up! So watch out authors... I am watching you

Sincerely, a very upset Frank who wishes you guys only continue to write Frazel stories...

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Drew: ***screams***Conner!

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**Review:)**


	6. Vote

**Hey guys! I would like you guys to vote which Nico pairings you prefer. Whether it is ThalisxNico, NicoxKatie, etc...**

**Thank you! Please vote so that I can continue the next chapter! **


	7. Chapter 6

**Sorry to all Liper fans…**

**(Matthew is an OC)**

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Matthew: Hey everyone! Esther said I could make Nico do the disclaimer today.

Nico:***sniffing*** B-but I don't want to do it.

Matthew: Just do it.

Nico: Hmph, what makes you think you can boss me around.

Matthew:***grins* **I am a son of Zeus and I am the author's sidekick.

Nico: ***gasps***Impossible!

Matthew: Hmmmm, if you don't do the disclaimer now, I guess I won't tell you about what Thalia said about you yesterday…

Nico: ***ponders for a moment*** Deal. Everything belongs to Rick Riordan except for the plot and Matthew.

Matthew: I do NOT belong to anyone.

Nico: ***shrugs* **Whatever.

* * *

Dear writers of Percy Jackson Fanfics,

I love Leo as a brother but NOT in a romantic kind of way. For your information, I am already dating Jason Grace. Yet, when the Stolls stole (no pun intended) a laptop from a mortal last week and managed to piggyback on someone's Wi-Fi they showed me this website called Fanfiction. When I typed Piper, the first story I saw was a LeoxPiper story. It was almost as silly as the FrankxHandcuffs one. I urge you to stop writing about Leo and I. Or else…

Sincerely, a cross Piper who loves Leo as a brother.

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**Review**


	8. Chapter 7

**Thanks to all those who reviewed and readJ**

**Disclaimer:**

Esther: I'll do the disclaimer today

Random: Noooo! I want someone else

Esther:***glares*** Shaddup.

Matthew: ***taps foot impatiently***Hurry…

Esther: Oh yeah, the characters belong to the one and only Rick Riordan, sadly. Only the plot is mine.

* * *

Dear writers of Percy Jackson Fanfics,

Hey dudes! I read one of those awesome stories about me! I am so glad you guys paired me up with a super cute chick… thanks for that. Well, it is better than a Jason and brick story.

I always wondered whether I would date that pretty Aphrodite girl who keeps on staring at me but no! I got someone else 50 times cuter than her. It must be my pure awesomeness and charming personality. And most of all I must be HOT! (No pun intended).

Sincerely, a pleased Leo

P.S: Write loads of stories about Calypso and I. (Gosh, she's cute)

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**Author's reply:**

**Dear Leo,**

**I don't think its all due to your 'pure awesomeness' and 'charming personality' or that you're 'HOT'.**

**You must thank all the nice authors who wrote about you two. **

**Sincerely, Esther **

* * *

Leo:***grins*** Thank you to all authors!

* * *

**Review…**


	9. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:**

Jason: Errr, Esther told me that I'll be doing the disclaimer today.

Esther: Hurry up. Oh and don't mention my name or I'll get in big big trouble.

Jason: What trouble Esther?

Esther:***facepalms and hisses* **Later!

Jason: Ok… Bye Esther

Esther: ***starts banging head on the wall repeatedly***

Jason: The characters belong to Rick Riordan, the plot is Esther's

Esther: ***bangs head harder* **Now Hades knows I am here

* * *

Esther: ***hisses* **Guys! Here are some of Hades' diary pages and the letters he sent to Persephone before they got married. Oh and a letter that he nearly sent to authors of a Persephone/Hades story but was too embarrassed to send it.

Dear Diary, today I saw Persephone picking some flowers above my palace. She looked so lovely, her gorgeous hair blowing in the air, the way her graceful arms reached out to pick each flower.

I was so engrossed staring at her that I didn't notice that I had killed every flower by accident within a 100 mile radius.

I was so embarrassed when she turned around and noticed that it was my fault all the flowers had died and glared at me. Oh the glare was so lovely I nearly fainted. After glaring at me, she disappeared into thin air leaving a sweet scent of flowers.

If only she stayed longer, haizzz… Time to get back to work.

* * *

**Sorry guys, this is not the actual page. When I bribed Nico to steal this from Hades, he read it and vomited because it was too sickly sweet for words. That is why I had to edit it a little (a lot). Who knew editing was so stressful.**

* * *

Dear writers of Percy Jackson Fanfics,

That was errr, very romantic of you guys. Writing those wonderful stories about Persephone and I.

But please do not alter the myths about me kidnapping Persephone, I find kidnapping very romantic. A note to all males, if you kidnap your girls they will be loyal to you forever. At least that worked for me but a side effect is that you'll be constantly disturbed by your mother-in-law.

Sincerely, Hades

* * *

Hades: Nico! How dare you steal my stuff?

Nico: Esther asked me to do it. You don't give me enough pocket money while Hazel gets all your wealth. That is why I have resolved to taking bribes

Hades:***frowns*** I'll get you two!

Nico and Esther: Arghhh! Run! ***both run away***

Hades: Curse you two pranksters! You've spoiled my dark and gloomy reputation as the Lord of the Underworld! You guys WILL suffer for eternity!

* * *

**The other letters and pages are in the next chapter. And the only way to save Nico and Esther from Eternal Punishment is to beg the fates for a memory potion. You can do this by reviewing and I, Esther will send it to them. **

**Help! **


	10. Chapter 9

**Hey guys! Sorry for not updating for a long timeJ Life has been really hectic**

**Disclaimer: **

I do not own Percy Jackson characters, Rick Riordan does.

* * *

Bold- Artemis

* * *

Dear writers of Percy Jackson Fanfics,

Guys! I do not love Artemis! ** Hell right he doesn't. How dare you think up such debauchery! Boys are disgusting.** Come on Artemis, not all boys are. **They are all the same. **Ok…

Don't you think they have changed over the centuries? ** I do not. Stop asking me stupid questions. And to all authors of those silly 'Pertemis' stories, do recall and understand that I am a maiden goddess. If you don't stop I'll make sure my hunters pay you a special, personal visit. **Listen to her.

Sincerely, Percy Jackson and Artemis, who is currently preparing to pay a personal visitation to Esther's Pertemis obsessed neighbour.

* * *

Esther: ***sighs***Sorry guys, Nico has proven himself to be absolutely useless at watching out for booby traps in the Underworld. He is now in the infirmary at Camp Half Blood after encountering a mustard sauce spraying gun. Since he is out of order, for now I'll have to do with Travis and Conner who cost more than a pair of solid gold underwears.

Travis: ***shouts***Our time is money Esther!

Conner: Yeah! Haven't your mum or dad told you that there is no such things as a free lunch?

Esther:***glares* **I just got a free lunch from my Aunt's restaurant earlier dimwit.

Conner: Ahhh, I see

Travis:***facepalms* **You failed Conner. Make sure you don't tell anybody that we're related, or twins. You're an insult to the Hermes cabin

Esther: Ouch...


	11. Chapter 10

_The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide._

**(Just to spice up everyone's day after readin' all those nasty threats;p)**

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**Disclaimer:**

Esther:***reading***

Percy: ***stumbles* **Oof!

Esther:***ignores Percy and continues reading.* **

Percy: Party pooper. ***drops book on the ground while stomping off. The book's title: How to be annoying for dummies.**

Esther: ***looks up from book* **All characters belong to Rick, only the plot is mine. And if I was Uncle Rick, I'll make Percy less irritating.

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Dear writers of Percy Jackson fanfics,

I do not know why I am calling you guys 'dear'.

But seriously! Me and a brick? For Zeus' sake! Everybody knows I like girls, not building materials.

You're all pathetic. Me... and a brick? ME! The legendary Praetor of Camp Jupiter, Hero of all Romans, Slayer of Monsters!

After saving you pesky mortals you pair me up with a bloody brick!

I am starting to really hate you guys now... you guys better watch out.

Sincerely, NO not exactly sincerely. A more of a Yours Hatefully... yes that.

Yours most hatefully, Jason who is real angry and is plotting to shut down all Jason/brick stories as well as convince Hades to torture authors of those stories.

* * *

Esther: Ah, well... That was terrifying. Ummm, don't get nightmares and don't complain to me if you do, and don't sue me, and don't report this to the poli-

Jason: Shut up.


End file.
